Summer is just around the corner...I can feel it!

It seems like I have a lot more to post about lately. Mostly good things, thank goodness! Nothing thats probably that exciting to others, but for me it just makes every day a little easier when I have things to look forward to.

Not so fun stuff to deal with is our electric dog fence. We live out of town but on Evan's uncle's property so it can get frustrating to not be able to do what we want when we want. Uncle does not like the dogs running around even though our neighbors dogs run free and all over the place. We kept them cooped up in a little fenced off area in the back and it just didn't seem fair. Evan and I saved and researched different ways to expand their running area without costing a fortune, making it permanent, or having to change too much. We decided to buy the petsmart underground electric fence. It took us 2 days to bury the line. We've been working with our dogs and helping them understand where the boundary is and where they can play and roam. It looks like we are going to have to buy the higher strength collars. At first the shock they recieved when they crossed the line startled them and the yelped and made sure to stay clear of the beeping warning. Then our male decided that maybe the shock wasn't so bad so he would test it over and over and you could see the shock jiggle his neck and he just sat there and took it! After so many seconds it automatically shuts off just in case the dog gets caught in the no zone. He's free, and he knows this. Our female decided to do the same thing shortly after and pretty soon they were walking in and out of the fenced area like nothing was happening. We shaved their necks thinking that it would help get more direct contact and therefore hurting more when they recieved the shock. That worked for the first couple times then they adjusted to that! So now we alternate, one is tied up in the yard while the other roams around (because they don't want to leave and get into trouble without the other). So we are looking into the extra strength collars and I really hope that works!

On a happier note...I planted my garden seeds two weeks ago and they have just taken off! I really should post some pictures because I'm so amazed at how fast they grew. I bought some pots for them to grow in, but planted a few seeds in each pot just in case some didn't grow. The smaller seeds didn't even seem like they would grow so I tossed quite a few in each pot. I bought 36 little pots and planted green peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes, onions, pumpkin, green beans, and corn. They became so crowded in these little pots that I decided to go out and buy to 50 count plants containers. I transplanted them over to their new spots so they could grow individually. I need to buy one more because I've filled them all up and still have about 50 more to transplant! I have on average about 15 of each plant but 50 tomato plants! We are going to have a BIG garden this year but I think I will give about half of my tomato plants and a few others to my parents...hopefully cutting down on their gardening bill :)

I am so excited for warm days and summer. Its not too far away. I can't wait to see my garden (and belly :P ) grow. Fresh salsa, green grass, warm sunshine, snow cones, funnel cakes, fair, parks, swimming, bonfires, I just hope it comes sooner than later. I remember the year I had Kimi, 2009, it was a strange summer that was cool and rainy until the end of July. It warmed up in August and September and then started to cool off again in October.

I will be going through an entire summer pregnant but thats 100% ok because I will be so busy being outside with my girls, that time will just fly. I'm sure this next baby will also be a girl but thats fine. I love my little girls and so its not hard to imagine having another. Evan and I have been discussing that we probably won't be finding out what we are having. If its a girl then we are completely prepared for her, and if its a boy I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to get what we need for him. We already have the swing and crib and all that so basically all we would need is clothes. Why not let it be a surprise?

A Little Bump Update

So like I announced we are having another baby! Its been a little bit stressful (have you read any of my previous posts from the last 3 months?) Basically I had originally found out I was pregnant last november. I was soooo excited and even posted it on my blog. Well it wasn't long before the word got out so I felt like I might as well announce it on facebook. The pregnancy was kind of weird. I had really bad body aches like someone had beat me up EVERY day. I went to the dr at 8 weeks and although its really a long stretch they decided to listen for a heartbeat...nothing. No big deal, most drs won't even try until the 12th week when they most def should hear a heartbeat. For some reason I just didn't feel pregnant (never felt that way with the previous two) and I would tell Evan and he would just say I'm worrying over nothing. Then at about 9 weeks I started spotting. I just KNEW this was going to happen. It was hard for the first 2 days, and I felt kind of like I did after I gave birth. My horomones were whiplashing, one minute I would cry and the next be completely fine. I was sad about it all but I kind of felt prepared for the whole thing. It didn't take long for things to even out, and I went in weekly for blood tests to make sure my hcg levels were going down. Every time I am pregnant I jump 10 pounds in the first month.Thats usually one of my signs that I am pregnant. I had already gained my fated 10 and so I was trying and trying to lose it before we started trying again. I dieted and exercised every day. I would jump on the scale and see that I gained a pound...what the?!? The next 2 pounds...then I wouldn't budge for a couple days then gain again! Everyone kept saying it was probably muscle but I know my body and I always drop right away and then gradually lose weight after that. I thought since I never had a miscarriage before that maybe my body was doing something weird. A couple weeks later I jumped on the scale and there it was...the dreaded 10 pound mark. So not only had I put on 10 pounds from before...I had added another 10 pounds to that. I cried and cried and finally decided that I would take a pregnancy test just to see what was going on. There it was..Positive.

I was happy, but wasn't extremely excited. I showed Evan and he felt about the same. We decided not to tell anyone until I reached a safe point. As you could imagine adding 20 pounds to a short frame gives people all kinds of ideas. I had one lady say are you expecting AGAIN?! Even though I was, I was so ticked about it that I lashed out and yelled back at her NO! Not only were my horomones going out of whack, I felt like crap. I was having some stomach problems before but because of the beauty of slower digestion due to pregnancy I felt like I had holes all over in my stomach. I was in pain, I was naseous, I was a wreck. I went to my first dr appt at 9 weeks. My dr decided to try the doppler but reminded me that we most likely were not going to hear anything but because I had a miscarriage she didn't know if my cycle was the same and when I actually concieved. Soon we were listening and there it was...a heartbeat! I felt a little relief but still wasn't as excited as I normally would be. My dr told me that it was perfectly normal that until I get to a point where I felt the pregnancy would turn out ok, that I would be a little disconnected from it. She sent me to get an ultrasound at 10 weeks and I got to see the little baby inside kick and squirm around. It was amazing to see that it had arms and legs and it actually looked like a real baby, not just a blob. Again this made me feel a little better, but not totally ok. We decided to tell our parents at this point because even if I did have a miscarriage again, at least I would have some support from someone.

I started getting kind of depressed because I wanted to tell people but I didn't want to jinx myself. I felt isolated and alone and because I was sick and throwing up a lot I was just miserable. Everyone was annoucing they were pregnant left and right. I kept asking Evan if we should tell people...he was worried about me and didn't know what the right answer was so he went to the default of our original desision not to tell until we knew everything was going to be ok...not like 12 weeks ok...but 20 weeks ok. I started getting a little scared that if I did lose this baby that no one would know what was wrong with me and I would have absolutely no support. I felt that being almost 14 weeks was safe enough and told Evan that I was going to announce it. Maybe that would help me (I hoped). Because we had such a wonderful Easter weekend I felt really good being outside and felt a lot more excited about having a baby. I thought up a poem and posted it. I felt like I had confirmed it and that it was really going to happen! I feel so much better and so much more connected to the baby (I've even felt him/her kick!)

I had my 14 week appointment yesterday and everything is still looking great. I got to hear the heartbeat again and it was wonderful! We are so excited and have no hopes for one gender or the other. I am just so excited to hold a tiny, soft, fuzzy baby again!

Easter with the Kawanos

Easter this year was so much fun. I loved that it was in April instead of March, and the weather was BEAUTIFUL!! We went to the fairgrounds for the easter egg hunt thats put on there every year. It seems like more and more people show up every year! It only takes about 30 seconds and the whole place is wiped clean of all the candy and eggs. We went out with our girls to help them, but some parents decided that instead of letting their kids collect the goodies that they would do that for them...not very nice. It looked ridiculous as one lady was armloading everything in sight and not letting a lot of the little kids get anything. Oh well I wasn't really as interested in my kids getting candy as I was letting them have fun gathering it. After we went inside and ate hot dogs, chips and pop while the raffled off all kinds of goodies! (below)This is Sunday morning right before church. While getting ready Kimi reached up and burnt her wrist REALLY BAD on the curling iron :( it was very sad and looked very painful. She cried for a long time and it was very hard to settle her down. We debated whether or not to even go to church because she was having such a hard time. I brought the girls outside to do a little walking around to settle Kimi down. It worked pretty good so we decided to go, and I'm so thankful that we were able to.

(below) Another shot of the girls from the front in their Easter dresses. Kimi and Takara were running and laughing. It was so cute! At church both girls decided to have a break down so we were swapping back and forth trying to calm each down. I went in with my primary class and finally got Takara to go into her own class. Evan brought Kimi into nursery and stayed with her just in case her burn started hurting her again.

After Church we went to Grandma and Grandpa Kawanos house for Easter Dinner and another egg hunt! The girls knew exactly what to do and had tons of practice with all the hunts they had over the last few days. We have enough candy to last us until Halloween.
Heres Takara and Kimi collecting all the goodies the Easter bunny left at Grandmas

We had an awesome Easter dinner and I am still stuffed. Takara doesn't usually like pictures at all and avoids looking at the camera as much as possible, but she asked if she could get a picture with Grandma so I jumped at the opportunity to hopefully get a good picture of her. She still blocked her face with her basket, but the fact that she even asked means that we're making progress :)

This Easter has been so wonderful and I'm so glad that I was able to go to church and teach my lesson to my class. I really needed to hear the real meaning of Easter to set my day straight.

On another exciting note, Evan and I are expecting our 3rd baby. I am almost 14 weeks. It was very hard not sharing the news but I was so scared to let anyone know since I did before and had a miscarriage. Now that we are in a safer time of the pregnancy I thought that this would be a great time to announce it! We are so excited but I am still a little scared since so many things can happen. I never thought I would have a miscarriage and now that I have it has just proven to me that it can happen to anyone and nothing in this life is a guarantee so to never take anything for granted.

I hope everyone had a Happy Easter!

Vent Blog?

Maybe I should just call this the Kawano venting blog. Sometimes, when things never seem to go right during the day I have no one to vent to....so I blog. Sorry readers.

Last year we tried growing a lawn. We live out in a muddy dirty mess and it would just be so awesome to have clean green grass for my kids to play on during the summer. Last year we cleaned up all the twigs, leaves and weeds and tilled in some fertilizer. We planted our grass but all our hoses were junk and we had just a tiny sprinkler. I would get out the old rotted hose and use my finger to create a spray and wet down the lawn several times a day. One day I decided to hook it up to the tiny sprinkler and went inside to let it do its job. A few hours later my mother in law knocked on my door and said that the hose detached from the sprinkler and flooded the whole driveway down to the round corrals leaving a muddy riving down the middle of our front yard and swept away all the grass seed. By time the middle of summer rolled around our lawn had a few patches of grass randomly scattered over the front yard, and that was it.

This year we decided to do it all over again BUT saved up to buy a new hose and a decent sprinkler. We worked and worked cleaning the front yard up, raking, weeding, and tilling until we had a clean canvas. The wind picked up shortly after and we decided that maybe we better wait until the next day so our seed didn't blow away. Next day we planted the seed raked it in and hallelujah it rained for the next few days! This was perfect! Today was the first sunny day and I called Evan to ask where all the new stuff was so I could hook it up and get to watering our new lawn. He said that the black hose was already hooked up so just to use that one instead. I got out the new sprinkler, hooked it up and it worked like a charm. I could just see in my mind how perfect our lawn was going to be. I ran into town with the girls to mail off a package and run a few errands. When I returned home it was like a flashback. Flooded lawn, grass seed being flushed away down to the round corrals. SERIOUSLY! Now I love Evan with all my heart but electrical tape does NOT fix everything. He taped the old black hose together with black electrical tape and it ended up breaking apart I'm guessing not to long after I turned it on and left. I did not even notice it or I would have gotten the new hose out and hooked it up. So now we'll wait and see whats left of the grass seed and if we'll have grass ...AGAIN!

So that was my grass vent. Onto my garden venting! The year before last I REALLY wanted to plant a garden. I bought seeds and started them inside my house and by time June rolled around I had tons of awesome plants that were ready to go into the ground. Problem...we didn't have a tiller at that time. We didn't even know anyone that had one. So I waited around for something to happen. Nothing...so sadly no garden that year. Last year we got new tiller at a yard sale and put all of our time into the lawn, so no garden that year either. So I am determined to have a garden this year. I bought my seeds, my little pots, and potting soil. I got them started last weekend and put into our front window where we get the most sun. Kimi has climbed up and dumped them so many times I have no idea if they will actually grow now! I guess we'll see what the next few weeks bring. (Does anyone else have this much trouble??)

Last and finally, pets. Since we already cram 4 people and our stuff in this 14x70 space, I do not want indoor animals out here. My Dad grew up on a farm where no animals were allowed in the house for sanitary reasons, so as you can imagine, that was the same rule when I was growing up. My mom did manage to get my Dad to agree to 2 poms but they were limited to one room of the house and no where else. If we lived in a bigger house and had a grass yard that the dogs could run around in and not track in poop and mud from outside, I would be more than happy to have them be inside. They do come in occasionally but not all day everyday. I have my two basset hounds that I LOVE. They are so fun and cute and lovable but Evans uncle has a conniption EVERY time we let them out of the fenced in area in the back, even if we are outside with them. Its just not a good deal. Well Evan felt like he needed a dog that could be his work dog to go around with him. I really did not like the idea because #1 we have 2 dogs already, and #2 I don't want the responsibility of the puppy all day because I've already got 2 kids and a house to take care of. I lost. We got a little blue heeler and he is soooo cute. But like I said...IM THE ONE WHO HAS TO TAKE CARE OF HIM DURING THE DAY! We've had him for week now and he sleeps in a box next to our bed, crying and whining all night long. When Evan is home he does all the work. He wakes up several times a night to take him out to go potty, feeds him, plays with him... everything. Well last night the puppy escaped out of his box and came back. Apparently Evan didn't notice so while we were all sleeping this puppy took 4 dumps on my $80.00 rug! Evan left for work, and I had woken up to get the girls their breakfast. Since evan didn't know about the poop I was the one to discover it..by stepping in it! I'm gagging and scrubbing and cannot hardly contain how pissed I was. This is one of my biggest peeves. I have kids crawling and rolling all over the ground all day in our house and I really do not want them in getting into any dog accidents.

Well now that I've gotten that all out I think I can move on with my day. Hopefully. I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way about anything or if I'm just a grouch. In any case I just hope things start going more smoothly. One of these days I will have something more uplifting and positive to write about I promise!

Daily Routine

I feel so lazy. My poor children are probably going insane from being cooped up in this house. I am! Most days our routine is the same. Evan gets up for work at 5:30 and most of the time that wakes Kimi up, then I try to get her to lay with me until at least 6:30. Sometimes is works sometimes it doesn't but we get up and Takara will sleep for another hour or so. I turn on PBS (the only clear channel our rabbit ears will pick up) fill the milk cups and get breakfast made for Kimi. I get online and check my email, facebook, and read the newspaper online. Takara wakes up and I get everything ready for her. Unless I have somewhere to be I usually sit around in sweats or occationally bundle up in a blanket on the couch in my Gs. I can't keep clothes on the girls at all so they usually run around naked until we go somewhere. Even after I get them dressed and we go outside or run errands as soon as they walk back into our house they completely strip down which drives me crazy because if we need to leave again I have to search around for their clothes again! Anyways today was a usual day and as always Kimi decides after shes done with her cereal to carry her bowl into living room and it never fails, she accidentally dumps the milk all over the rug. EVERY DAY!!! My poor rug needs a good washing so this summer I think its going to be hung out on a line, beat, and sprayed down. I clean it the best that I can with carpet cleaner and a rag but I think its just due for a good cleaning. So as Kimi does this again I start yelling around, yes this is getting old and instead of beating my kids I go with verbal abuse :) just kidding. I pretty much yell around for my benefit and mostly talk to myself when I do it ( I think I got that from my mom) because it sure doesn't phase my kids and they could care less about what I'm even mad about. But I'm sure it did't sound so nice to the FEDEX guy standing outside our front door right at that moment. I hear the knock and I'm scrambling around in my undies and look through the peep hold on our door to see who it was and thought oh he'll just leave whatever it is that he's dropping off. No I was wrong. Knock knock. I wait. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. It was pretty obvious he wasn't going to leave. Takara runs over to open the door and I scream NO NO don't open the door. Then she would yell to him just come in! So I dash back to my room to throw on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and back to open the front door but try to keep my naked children inside. Here we are, out in the boonies in a trailer and this guy probably thinks we're a bunch of redneck hillbillies anyways, I'm sure our "attire" or lack of would have confirmed his thinking. Turns out the package wasn't even for us but for Evans uncle. It was so nice a couple days ago. We spent most of the day outside and that was the best I've felt in a LONG time. The girls played, I worked on the yard, oh it was WONDERFUL! It just makes me completely long for summer. Only a couple more months! I think moving south sounds like a good plan. Yes the summer can get miserably hot and humid but I think I could handle having to deal with that 3-4 months out of the year and having wonderful weather the rest of the time then only getting 3-4 months of good weather and then being cooped up for the rest because of the wind, snow, rain, and cold. Sadly nothing too cool to post about, I'm sure anyone that does read my blog feels they are reading the same post over and over. Since there isn't much new going on I tend to stick to this annoying subject of how the weather is making me miserable. Sorry folks!

If it weren't Friday, I would go crazy.

I don't know why I load myself down...I don't know why I just can't say NO. I love being creative especially when its something for my family. I know the the gifts and talents that Heavenly Father gives us are meant to be used and shared and improved, but its so hard for me to keep a good attitude during the "sharing" part. I started a tutu business but found that I enjoy creating fun things for my girls more than other people :( I'm such a stinkin perfectionist that I end up putting so much time and effort into something that its hardly worth the price I ask. Tutus are a different story and actually not that bad...its the cakes. THE CAKES. I have never taken and sort of culinary classes or training. Everything I've learned about cooking and baking I've gotten from my mom. You want things to taste great BUT also look good too. Presentation is what sells it first. I made a birthday cake for Evan the first year that we were married and decorated it with all kinds of cool things. It turned out great! I didn't really have a lot of cake decorating supplies so for the next few years we made more adult types of cakes like heath bar cake and lemon meringue pie (Evans favorites) We had Takara and I felt a lot of pressure in making her first birthday cake, I wanted it to be perfect but didn't know enough about cakes or have the tools to do it. So I kept it simple. Then when we had Kimi I figured there were going to be plenty of birthdays to work on trial and error, and this is the perfect time since they were too little to critique my work. It all started last July 2010. I had a wilton book that I wanted to make so many cakes out of but was too scared. I finally decided to just do it. How did it look? GREAT! How did it hold up? not so great. I knew nothing about stacking cakes but I read somewhere about dowels. So I put dowels in the cake and stacked my layers with no plates or cardboard. Well you can guess what it did. It collapsed. Over the next few months I did some fundraiser cakes, cupcake creations, and a few birthday cakes. All the practice def paid off. I made my first wedding cake and I was amazed that I actually did it! So whats the big deal? Shouldn't I be happy that I'm learning so much in such a short time? Well I am grateful for the knowledge but now I've been getting orders from so many people that I don't know. It takes me so long to do a cake with my kids around. Right now I'm working on a baby shower cake. It is costing me more to make THIS cake than I am getting out of it. Getting motivated to start is the hardest part. I agonize and hold off as long as possible before getting down to business. Yesterday I baked the cake and while it was cooling Kimi climbed up and destroyed it. Money down the drain. So I had to go buy more supplies and bake another cake. Then today after I got it covered in fondant Takara decided to poke her fingers through it while I was busy printing out the design I wanted to use. Fondant costs $20.00 a box so as you can imagine I was not happy. In fact, I freaked. I felt pretty guilty for how bad I layed into Taraka. I was already having a bad morning (stomach issues and all) so this was the straw that broke the camels back. Thank goodness its Friday.