September down, October to go!

Its October...YAY!! I am so excited, for more reasons than one. I love October, it has to be one of my most favorite months. It cools off and I get to wear my sweatshirts, breath crisp air, see all the beautiful colors changing, enjoy smells like pumpkin spice, and apple cinnamon, and finally HALLOWEEN!! I love having kids and dressing them up, it is so much fun. Then to watch them go around and get so excited about collecting candy and goodies ( I swear Takara thinks it should be Halloween a good portion of the year :) haha).
Another thing I will be looking forward to this month is...a new baby!!! Finally the month has come and I am waiting patiently... sort of...to squish and love on a brand new baby. Does that ever get old? I am a little nervous for this one because not only do I totally feel unprepared, but there are going to be some medical issues we have to address after he/she is born.
At my 20 week ultrasound they noticed the baby had some fluid in the kidney's. I went in for a second ultrasound at 31 weeks to be sure it wasn't getting worse. Thankfully it wasn't worse but it wasn't better either. I went in for another ultrasound at 35 weeks for another kidney measurment and was told the radiologist wanted me back for another ultrasound. At my 36 week appt my Dr. decided that since I only had about 4 weeks left at that point there wasn't much they were going to be able to do and an ultrasound wasn't going to be able to fix anything. luckily I was told that there isn't a blockage, if there were, my amniotic fluid would be low and the kidneys would continue to get bigger.
So the next step is to deliver the baby, inject dye into the bladder, and do an ultrasound on the baby to see if there is reflux going to the kidenys from the bladder. They will then decide if its something we can watch and wait to see if the baby will grow out of or if its serious enough to do surgery (cross fingers for NO!)
I am a little nervous about all of this because I know how much of a wreck I am emotionally after I deliver a baby. I cry when my babies get shots, I go through a lot of hormone changes and I'm just not sure how stable I will be. The thought of someone poking and prodding at my tiny new baby just makes me shake. My worst fear is that not only will I have to wait to see if there will have to be any surgery, but I will be dealing with this all by myself. We are at a point where Evan HAS to work. He has a week of vacation that he will be using when the baby comes but that means its all regular time. Our paycheck will be low and our bills will not change, so it will be tight for a couple weeks. What happens if I find out this baby has to go to a bigger hospital or have surgery?! Evan will not be able to take any work off to help me and that scares me alot. So I'm really praying that everything will be normal and we won't have to worry about it.
On a more positive note, I am so excited to see what this little smush is! Takara is grasping the concept that there really is a baby in my tummy, but asks me why we need a baby. I tell her that we have a lot of love to give out and we want a bigger family. Takara is really into the 'why' stage. It wouldn't matter if SHE made the mess everything is still 'why'. For example, Takara you need to pick up all these toys, 'why?' because you made a mess 'why?' I don't know Takara YOU tell me why. I am really enjoying my family. I wish it didn't rain this past week, the leaves on our grass were perfect for raking and jumping into but now everything is drenched and muddy. Im sure we will have other days but I'm really hoping we don't get anymore moisture for awhile.
Well thats all I can remember to blog about for now. I've got one thing on my mind lately and thats pregnancy and labor so its hard for me to remember any of the fun things that we did in the past month. Hopefully I can do some back blogging and add some pictures later!

Busy August

August has been full of new and exciting events. Some things I could have done without but for the most part things have been great!!! I extended my tutu business into a whole little girls boutique and have been going to different places and setting up for different events. The last place I went to was Dayton for their town celebration. IT. WAS. AWESOME. I can't believe how well I did for a little town get together. My next stop is Ranchesters Cenntenial Celebration. With the traveling we've been doing with my little business we got to thinking how much of a pain in the butt its been to wake up super early and drive late in the night to get back and forth. Our other option is to get a hotel which is not what we really like to do when we're not that far from home. Some of the shows that we've gone to, my parents have also been doing with their kettle korn business and we would stay with them in their camper. That made us think...what if we got a camper of our own? We were thinking maybe next summer, but we started browsing and getting an idea of what we wanted. We want 4 kids so our first thought was the sleeping arrangments, bunk beds became high on our list. Something in good condition that would last us..forever, but not so expensive and definately not something new. It didn't take long for us to come across exactly what we were looking for..it was meant to be :) This is our new (not brand new) home on wheels! Its hard side as you can see with an awning that folds out, goose neck hitch (This was one of Evans requests), its a 2004 Wildcat!

Inside you can see looking toward the front the bedroom with a queen size bed, bathroom with shower, dressing area with good size closet and drawers. This picture shows more of the living room and kitchen area with entertainment center, all super clean and in excellent shape!

This is facing the back end showing the dining area and the little pantry closets and the big door leads to...bunk beds...yes BUNK BEDS! The bunk bed area is closed off and is its own room with a closet also.

This is a wonderful investment for us, we will be using this ALOT. During the summers we will take it with us when we do shows, and camping. It will be our hotel when we go on family road trips, when our girls start participating in the fair we can camp right at the fairgrounds and have a place to hang out between events, and when my parents (or friends) come to visit they will now have a place to bunk here at our house! We are so excited about this and we got it for such a great deal!

Our two good friends Josh and Angie decided to tie the knot! We are so happy for them and are so greatful we got to be apart of their big day and be the witnesses. They decided they wanted to get married and have just a small ceremony on August 12th with the family that lives around here and then plan for a big wedding/reception next year at this time. After they were married we all went to rib and chop to eat and it was so yummy! It was great hanging out with Josh's family, they are a great bunch. Congrats to the Serrs!

There was a contest put on by Nick Allen Photography and my girls got 2nd and 3rd place! Normally Kimi wants to get in the middle of everything while Takara is usually the stink that won't cooperate. This time the tables turned completely! It was so hard to get Kimi to sit for any amount of time so I'm glad her pictures turned out the way they did. Most of the time I would have to run and plop her down and they would snap a picture and she would jump up and run off. They got to the point where they would throw a little sheet over her, distracting her from her next move, then pulling it off and snapping her reaction.

Takara has really been into pictures lately. At first she was a little shy and didn't want to smile but she was all for posing. We would sit her down and if they said put your hand on your cheek or lay your head down or put your hands on your hips, Takara would do whatever she was told. But we couldn't get her to smile! Then after pulling the sheet on and off Kimi, Takara loosened up and then would giggle and laugh and smile.

I'm so glad they love each other. They are so close and they take good care of each other. They are my babies and even though they drive me nuts sometimes I would never give up being their mommy!

On to the ultrasound. On Monday the 22nd I had an ultrasound scheduled. Takara has been so excited and loves to go to the dr and listen and see the baby. When this baby comes I don't know if we'll get the use out of our swing because I can just about guarentee the girls will want to hold him/her at almost every moment of the day. Back to the day, I told Takara what we were doing and as we were leaving out the door I got a call from the hospital saying the machine wasn't working that day so I had to be rescheduled for Wednesday. Takara was not too happy that we weren't going to see the baby like I had been promising. I started cleaning on the house and even with the swamp cooler on I was starting to sweat. The temp was in the 90s and I thought, we haven't been to the frog pool for almost a month! So I told the girls what the plan was and they were so excited and were quick to get their swim gear on. I stopped by mcdonalds to get some food for a picnic (yeah I was being lazy and didn't pack one from home) pulled up to the frog pool and the gates were closed. The pool was still full and the water was clean and clear. I thought maybe they changed the times since school was starting up this week. I called the aquatic center and they said the frog pool was closed for the season...seriously! Its still consistently hot outside, how could they not keep it open!? Once again the girls were not happy with our spoiled plans. I decided since we were not having a great day that we would go to the big indoor pool. It cost $7 for Takara and I which I think is a rip. I think 3 is a little young to start having to pay to get into the pool and why am I paying $4 for me? I don't get to swim. All I do is keep my kids from drowning. I didn't care about having to pay because I wanted my girls to have a good time. We got into the pool and there were some older ladies swimming around for exercise. The girls were having a blast! 30 minutes into it Takara looks at me with a look of panic and said mom I think I need to go to the bathroom. As I stood up to get her out I looked all around us...poop. Takara had diarrhea and thought she had just farted. It wasn't just a little...it was everywhere! I got her out and ran her to the bathroom and as I pulled her swimming suit off, it was filled to the straps. The smell was horrible and even made Takara gag. I got her cleaned up and went to the front desk to tell them what happened so they quickly evacuated the pool. Takara could not understand why we had to leave. As all the old ladies were coming out they were shooting us dirty looks. I didn't want Takara to feel bad because it was an accident, and she is potty trained and will tell me when she has to go, even if she's in the middle of having a good time. When we got home Takara wasn't embarrassed at all and told Evan all about how she pooped in the pool and thats why we had to leave.

Finally Wednesday we got to go to the ultrasound. Takara was so excited and it was easy getting them ready and out the door for the appointment. It was so fun seeing our little mush. This baby is quite the chunk already. I am a little worried about how big this baby is going to be. Around 31 weeks the girls were estimated around 2 pounds and my due dates always got bumped out futher. I must have ovulated a little differently this time because this baby is estimated to be about 4 pounds!! My due date will probably not change at this point but the baby is measuring a little further along than expected.

I need to get the girls 3d pictures out and compare. They all seem to look the same in my memory. I wish I could see the lips better. The umbilical cord was hanging out right over the top lip so the 3d ultrasound could not pick up a clear picture of the lips. I can not wait to squish on our new baby! I am having a lot of pain with this pregnancy, especially in my hips and lower back area. I still have 2 months left so I'm a little worried what my body will be doing by then.

So this has been our month of August. I'm sure things are going to get more hectic the further along I get but thats ok. I like being busy and keeping my mind off the pregnancy.

Wrapping up July and on to August

At the end of July we celebrated Kimi's 2nd birthday...I can't believe my baby is 2!! I was really dreading having to make a cake and worry about food and decorations just because this pregnancy has really been a pain. BUT we had a good time, and the kids all loved the location, the frog pool! The week started off a little stressful and I went to walmart and got all my ingredients for food, punch and cake. Normally I bake a cake the day before I decorate it, and I decorate the day before the party, this time around I procrastinated until the very last moment and was up decorating the cake the night before the party. It wasn't my best cake but I think it turned out pretty cute considering the amount of time I did it in. Evan brought the grill and we cooked up some food while the kids all played in the pool. We had lots of friends and family show up and it turned out to be a great time!

After Kimi's birthday party I could breath a little and relax. The Park County Fair started up the next day and we were able to stop by every night thanks to Matt and Kim (Evan works with Matt at PPC) they spoiled us and bought us each a week gate and parking pass to the fair. I enjoyed fair sooo much this year. The spoiling did not stop there. Evans mom gave us tickets to pig wrestling and the Tracy Lawrence concert. We always seemed to show up at the exact same time as Evans sister Jalene so she offered to take the girls during most of the events. In all the years that I've lived here and gone to fair, I've never been in the grandstands. It was a good time. Friday we took the girls on the carnival rides and they had a blast. As soon as I can get the new pictures off my camera I'll have to post them. All in all July treated us pretty good. Now I'm ready for August and September to speed by so that we can meet this new little bundle growing inside me :) Not to mention I'd like to be able to breath and sleep on my stomach again.

And I signed up for this?

Its been one of those summers. I really wish I had one thing to do each day... or every other day, and just enjoy the rest. My biggest complaint is that I feel like I run 4 soon to be 5 lives. Now I'm not saying the Evan doesn't do anything but his job is mapped out for him. He wakes up, goes to work, comes home, does a few things to help out, eats dinner, and goes to bed. I get up and feed everyone, bathe and dress everyone, get everyones hair done. My day varies from that point on. I make and go to all of our dr appts, clean, grocery shop, fix meals, pay bills, get the loans and vehicle tags, take care of the garden and animals (new puppies remember?) Organize the birthday parties, do the invites, buy the gifts, make the cakes, do a little side job for extra money, prepare for my church calling, do visiting teaching, take the girls swimming....AND SO ON all...while pregnant. Guess what? I don't get paid for any of this (except my side job of course)! Now I knew what I was getting into having kids and all but, wow, some days I just want to lock myself in a room and turn out the lights.

It has been a little stressful but I'm slowly working through everything bit by bit. July 10 our dog delivered 8 precious puppies. Last Saturday we had to leave town to go to the Wyo Rodeo in Sheridan so that I could sell some of my stuff. We were gone a little over 24 hours and had Evans family take over on the puppies and dogs. A few hours before we arrived home we were told that Dinky (the mother) killed two of her puppies. I think she was mad that we left her and decided to not take care of her puppies. When I got the other 6 puppies they were bloated (from not being relieved) and starving! I had to stay up all night Sunday night making sure Dinky was doing her job and letting her in and out of the house to give her a break. Well now she has decided that she doesn't want to nurse at all. I have to hold her down and let the puppies nurse or else she'll just sit up and they will only be able to get to the bottom half of her or she will just walk around looking for a spot to lay down by herself. Not fun. Then We found a spot on 3 of the puppies that looked like they had something dripped on them. It would not clean off and was crusty so we put some peroxide on it and it bubbled like crazy. I brought them into the vet today and found out they have a mild form of staph but it won't transfer to the other dogs or to humans. So now I've got to give them meds twice a day. Dinky also has mastitis on the upper half from not laying down for the pups to nurse so she gets meds too. Kimi has her Bday party this weekend so I have to bake the cake today decorate tomorrow and have everything ready on Saturday.

Baby Update: So I went to my appt this morning, I am 26 weeks and measuring at 31 weeks. Yeah I'm not further along thats for sure. They told me that I have to go in for another ultrasound because one of the babys kidneys was borderline abnormal. Great. I asked what that meant for us and the baby and they said that in a month they will see how things develop and if it looks worse then they will do an ultrasound on the baby after he/she is born. It could lead to lots of bladder infections and other little inconveniences for this baby throughout their life. So I'm crossing my fingers that whatever the problem is, it will develop out of it and nothing will be wrong.

Kiddo Updates: Takara is such a jabber box. She says some of the funniest things. Lately if we are doing something that doesn't interest her she will look at me and say, are you coming or what? She loves to sing and tell stories and have them read to her. Takara also love love loves animals. Any and every kind. Thankfully we have a lot around for her to love on. She and Kimi have been fighting a lot lately. It starts out with a little dissagreement, one may have a toy the other wants, then screaming, then it turns into pushing, then hitting, then Takara will pinch and Kimi will bite. Its hard to break them up especially when we are in a store or something where I can't get them away from each other. If we are in the car they will just scream at each other and it goes back and forth. Kimi has also been talking ALOT. She will ask a question, what are you doing? is her favorite. Then after you tell her she has to confirm and repeat. For example she poked her head into the shower and asked me what I was doing and I told her I was shaving my legs. Oh, shaving you legs? Kimi love to eat. She is such a peanut so I don't know where she puts it but she will eat breakfast 3 times. She always wakes up first between 6 but not later than 7:30. I will feed her breakfast and when Takara wakes up (between 8:30 and 9:30) she will eat again with her. Then around 10:30 she will usually want another bowl of cereal or something to eat on. Then between noon and 1 we will have lunch and so on.

I haven't been very good at posting pictures but here are a few of our summer so far and of course they are backwards in order so starting from the most recent here they are!

Here is Kimi ready to go to the 4th of July Parade in Cody

Takara on 4th of July. She has been into the whole picture taking thing lately. She always asks to get her picture taken or she will want to take pictures herself with the camera. This is a complete turn around since we couldn't get her to even look at the camera before.

Here is Takara with her horses Roy and Sweet. I'm so glad they are gentle because I've caught Takara in with them a couple of times and its completely freaked me out. Shes still too young to know the rules of horses like not walking behind their rear ends. But this is where she spends most of her time when she's outside.

Here is Kimi walking around, she is a litte explorer and will try to take off on me when I get out to the garden. She will go over to the pigs and likes to go for little walks by herself. She is a little stinker and goes where ever she thinks shes not supposed to.

The girls at the Lovells Day parade. Kimi was a little confused since we had been having a lot of trouble with her staying out of the street. We would yell for them to run to get the candy...in the street.

Surprise surprise, the hounds are here!

I love babies...any kind of babies! When we found our bassets had bred I was so excited for little floppy eared loosed skinned puppies! I estimated July 8th to be about the time our female Dinky would give birth (so I wasn't that far off!). July 8th came and went and the same with the 9th.

I began to think maybe I was way off and she wouldn't have them for another week or so. Just to be safe I tied her up in the front of the house, just in case she started having puppies when we were asleep or not around at all, the other dogs wouldn't get in her way...or hurt the pups.

That night I kept having crazy dreams about puppies and all kinds of other weird stuff. I kept waking up and feeling sick to my stomach. Literally sick, not from the dreams, but I was pretty sure I either had the flu or a galbladder attack. Yesterday morning I woke up and still felt really sick and thought oh I hope this isn't the day Dinky decides to give birth.

I called down the sub list at 7am for my primary class and no one was answering so I called my mother in law and she said she would take care of it and just to get some rest. Evan was on call for work so he couldn't take the girls to church by himself because if he did get called out again, he wouldn't just be able to pick up and leave.

So here we were miserable, on a Sunday morning. I went outside to check on Dink and she was completely tangled around the deck posts. I unhooked her and unwound her rope and tied her back up. She wasn't doing anything different than normal so I didn't think much of it. I went back into the house and laid down. Dinky was not impressed and let me know by howling and howling and howling. I went back out and she was tangled up AGAIN! I thought, I do not feel good enough for this and slinked my way back down under the deck. I look over and there was a puppy!

I unhooked Dinky and picked up the pup and walked inside. Evan looked at me and jumped up off the couch and said are you serious! I sarcastically said no I'm just kidding. We threw on some outside clothes and let the process begin. Dinky did an awesome job and the day felt long and hot. 9 am to 3:30 pm and the last pup was out. I got to hold and snuggle on each puppy and Dinky wasn't a bit worried. During some points I had all the puppies in my lap to get them out of the way while she was giving birth or cleaning a new one off.

She is such a good mom and is so careful when laying down to nurse. I was so scared I was going to wake up this morning and find a puppy smothered. Bassets are known to accidentally smother their pups, so you have to watch them and the pups for a few weeks. Luckily Dinky is extra cautious so she goes to one end and waits for the pups to scoot their way to her.

I started feeling sad last night and told Evan that I feel so attached to these puppies right now that when it was time to actually sell them I didn't know how I was going to be able to handle it. He kind of laughed and said you'll be fine. There will be more litters and it was good that I loved them. It would make them be good family dogs for other people. I guess my pregnancy horomones just take over sometimes and make me all crazy :) Anyways here is Dinky and her pups. 6 males and 2 females.

What we've been up to!

The last month and the start of this month has kind of been a blur. We've been keeping busy and loving the hot weather!

I'll start off with a pregnancy update, I am 24 weeks a.k.a 6 months!!! Even though I've only got 16 weeks left I can honestly say I don't know how much more I can handle. My first two pregnancies went by like a breeze. Other than the normal discomforts of a growing belly, I really felt the same as I did when I wasn't pregnant. This time around my body just doesn't want to cooperate. I was sick for the first 18 weeks, then once that went away my body decided that the heartburn should kick in. That was getting so bad that I was actually throwing up and losing weight. I tried tums, zantac...you name it I tried it. Finally they put me on nexium to kill the daily acid cells in my stomach. I got a horrible cold, one of the worst I've ever had which brought my immune system down. I got an abcess in the gum tissue in my mouth from a piece of food getting caught or poked in (like a chip or popcorn). So as you can guess I had to take penicillin to take care of the infection which killed the bad bacteria...and GOOD bacteria. So I had to take meds for that. NOW because of the pressure of the baby and the way a bladder changes during pregnancy and holding it all night long I have a UTI...seriously I need this to be over. I hate taking medication, and it just gives me all sorts of anxiety while pregnant. I've got a delicate perfect being growing in me and I don't want to damage them in any way. BUT I do understand that I NEED to take medication when there is something wrong so that it does not hurt the baby.

Some other updates, last month we decided to take on 2 miniature studs (Roy and Sweet) and 4 minature mares (Buttons, Angel, Sadie, and Ellie). I've always LOVED miniature horses and since Evans mom has a ton of them it was a lot easier to get into them. The woman we got these horses from has a disease that affects her kidneys so in order to live longer she had to get rid of any extra stresses in her life. Her horses are very high quality and have been shown. Roy himself is a 3 time national champion, while Sweets sire was a 7 time national champion! Sweet is only 2 so he hasn't had an opportunity to be shown yet. Our minis are very loving and gentle and our girls have even been able to ride them. We plan to breed and sell our minis and I'm so excited!

At the end of June we went to Lovells day and we had a lot of fun! The girls loved the parade and catching candy. I think Kimi didn't quite know how to respond because we are always getting after her about running toward or in streets and here we are sitting on a curb yelling at them to hurry and get the candy...in the street. We wanted to go to the rodeo and fireworks but the heat really has been taking it out of us.

We've been spending a ton of time at the frog pool and the girls and I love it. Its free, its cool on a hot day, its passes the time...oh and did I mention, its FREE! Well I just had to repeat it because not much is anymore. I'm finding it hard to get around to do much with two kids while pregnant. I hope it gets a little easier after baby gets here.

Finally the 4th of July! I love when Evan has 3 days off in a row. We had so much fun and relaxation and I loved every minute of it. Saturday we bummed around and cleaned a little and of course went to the frog pool, Sunday we went to church and snuggled around home and cleaned a little more, and on Monday we went to the parade in Cody with Josh and Angie and then that night to Josh's Aunt's house for fireworks.

I will post pictures when I get them uploaded. I need more motivation and even taking the time to write all this is hard. So give me a break :) I hope everyone's summer has been going as good as ours!

I love days like today. We started our day out at 9 am at the annex building getting our carseats inspected. We bought Takara a carseat not too long ago and it just didn't fit right. The buckle that is supposed to sit at the chest was up by her throat so a good portion of the time we didn't even buckle it...definately not safe. Luckily the inspector was able to figure it out and we got the girls anchored in and properly adjusted, phew! While we were in the room getting the girls weighed and measured to make sure they were in the proper size carseat they must have found a button and pushed it. I had no idea and while we were waiting the Powell Law Inforcement flooded in one by one. Hmmm I thought, what is going on? They were informed that it was a false alarm and that my kids must have pushed the button. I looked around and said, my kids? Well since we were the only people in the building besides the workers at their stations it was pretty easy to figure out who the "little" fingers belonged to :)

Next we went to gymnastics. I love and dread gymnastics. I love to get my girls out and involved in different activities. Normally Takara will not cooperate at all except when it comes to the balance beam. The instructors have tried and tried to get her to do the stretches and floorwork and she would refuse and they would push her from one side of the mat to the other. This was the case through the entire winter session of gymnastics and all last week of the summer session. Today I don't know what clicked but she did EVERYTHING. Even somersaults! She has never attempted one by herself and any time I tried to help her at home she would get embarrassed and be done. I was so proud and everyone kept looking at me like what the heck just happened? Now the dread part. Kimi wants to get in the middle of everything. While all the other parents get to sit in the chairs and watch their kids and hold their little ones on their laps, I'm constantly chasing Kimi around trying to keep her off the equiptment and out of the way of the other kids. If I pick her up or try to hold her she throws a screaming fit and it gets really hard to wrestle her the bigger that I get.

After gymnastics we went to McDonalds to do visiting teaching and that went great! The girls actually ate their food and I had a good visit with Lisa and Vanessa! I love having tons to do during the day. It makes everything so much fun and thats why I love summer!

Its a....SURPRISE!

Well we had our 20 week ultrasound today and yup...there is definately a baby in there! For the sake of this post since we don't know if the baby is a he or she we will just call them K instead of "it". K squirmed and wiggled so much the tech had a hard time getting pictures. She was so surprised at how much movement there was and that no matter what she did to get the little bugger to slow down, K just wouldn't. Its just so amazing to me to see on a screen what is going on inside at that very same moment. Every time the baby would kick I could see the movement on the screen at the exact same time. I've already had two babies and have seen this all before but it never gets old or seems any less amazing.

For some reason the ultrasound seemed really blurry this time around. With Kimi and Takara you could see a hard line at the profile but Evan pointed out that K was moving...ALOT so it was pretty hard to get a still shot. The tech worked for a good hour trying to get all the measurements needed but every time she got K in the right position K would move right as she was snapping the shot.

I am really feeling big this pregnancy. With Takara I remember pushing out my stomach, wanting sooo bad to see the baby bump, and seemed like forever before it appeared. With Kimi I started out a little heavier and decided that I needed to get my butt walking to keep my weight gain under control. Since I had my miscarriage right before this pregnancy I had already gained 10 pounds that never came off + the 10 pounds with this one at the start (you know what I'm talking about if you read one of my previous posts). Well its not like I gain 10 pounds and just "stay" there. With the weather being so up and down and that long spell of cold, then rain, I just have not gotten myself out walking...or doing much of anything. So I'm at the biggest I've ever been and really not comfortable with it, but theres not much I can do about it at this point. So heres my update at 20 weeks minus a picture of me..which may never show up :)

I. Need. Blue. Skies. And. Sun.

Its a little scary seeing all the massive amounts of rain pouring down on this area of the map. I mean aren't we usually in high fire hazzard mode about this time? Wheres the happy medium? I was looking back at some of my journaling and I did a lot of walking and playing outside back in March 2010. In the last month I think we've only been outside to play maybe 4 times total.

Yesterday was amazing. Sadly we had to go to a funeral, but I'm so thankful that the weather was so beautiful for an amazing women and her family. I didn't know Kim Asay personally, I've met her a few times because my husband Evan knew her and her family. It was a very nice service, I enjoyed it very much. They held it in their big barn at home and it was filled to the brim. We got there about 15 minutes early and ended up being in the very back and stood the entire time. They did make some more seating available and even though I'm pregnant and we had our two girls I felt like we needed to let closer friends of the family and maybe the more elderly people standing get a chance to sit. Our girls did awesome. From start to finish, including the burial, it lasted 2 1/2 hours. They did not complain, squirm, or make a peep,(and thats asking a lot of a 3 year old and 20 month old) it gave us the opportunity to really listen to the stories and enjoy the memories of the family.

After, we came home and relaxed a little before getting into more comfortable clothes. Since the weather was holding up and it got up to almost 70 we decided to go on a family walk. It was WONDERFUL. We walked all around the property and through the fields (I'll post some pics when I find my camera cord). Its been so muddy and icky and we are trying our best to grow grass but its just in little fine patches everywhere, so the girls having had a really good place to run and play out here. When we got out to the green grassy field the girls went crazy. They ran and rolled and picked dandelions. It was sooo cute! We were having a hard time getting them to keep moving along because they were having so much fun. Then we went in with the horses in their field and the girls petted and loved on all of them. Then we went down toward the river bottom where there is tons of sage brush and cactus. After we showed Takara the cactus and told her not to touch she started getting a little nervous because it was EVERYWHERE. Eventually she wanted to be carried. We got out and back up to another field and again they were loving it. Now we were on the opposite side of the fence where the horses were and they would dip their heads over to get more loves from the girls.

When we got home we made a bonfire and had Evans family come over. It was a great end to an awesome day. When we got inside I was bushed. I look and feel like I'm carrying triplets and my body feels like it does when I'm in the last weeks of a pregnancy. It really worries me but I think it has something to do with the extra baggage I started out with this time around. And I'm STILL sick! Some days I feel better and then the next its back. Just when I feel like I'm over the sickness it hits me hard the next day. Sundays are the worst because we have to be ready to go by 9 am and so by time I get up and moving and get myself and the girls ready my body wants to shut down, or I start puking. I have an appointment this week so hopefully they can help me figure something out.

Hot Diggity Dog

What a wonderful day. What am I doing inside then, you ask? Just eating lunch and taking a little break.

We woke up to the sun shining and decided to have a day outside. I wanted to go for a walk but as soon as we got to the highway the wind was blowing so hard I could barely move..soo we came back and it calmed down. It goes back and forth between warm and calm and cool and windy. The girls played with the bubble machine while I watered the lawn brought my plants out to adapt to the outside, and mow and weedwhack away the weeds that are starting to grow tall. My goal is to try to keep them down around the corrals and back area so that we don't have a place for snakes to hide out. I also brought the girls over to look at the pigs again and noticed one had a golf ball size lump on its snout. It was pretty lethargic and was coughing and sneezing alot. I called my mother in law and let her know.

There has not been very good luck with pigs around here. The first year I was around all the pigs did fine, then the next year it was a really hot day and no one came to check the water during the day and that night there was a dead pig. Last year our big dogs got in and tore up two pigs and killed another, Jolyn also had a pig bred from the previous year and while it was at the place it was bred it died. This year there were 5 pigs but 2 had really weird hump backs. Well the one with the most severe hump died not even a week after Jolyn bought it. Takara LOVES the pigs and after we found one dead a couple weeks ago it took her awhile to realize that not all the pigs died, just one. I would say should we go see the pigs and she would say no they're dead.

On our way back from the pig pen I noticed Lenny's cats got into the burn barrels and scattered all the garbage..grrrr. It didn't take long for the girls to notice that I secretly threw out the extra easter candy that we didn't need around here. There are only so many chocolate stains and tootsie rolls ground into the carpet I can handle.

We came inside to eat lunch and take a little break from the outside. Takara is a hard one to make food for. She is not a typical kid and does not like a lot of normal kid food. She does not like pizza, mac n cheese, raviolli, spheggetti Os, hamburgers, or ice cream. She loves lettuce, just plain ol lettuce, most vegetables, all fruit, string cheese,popcicles, milk, sometimes chicken, pancakes and hot dogs. Thats about it. Occastionally she will eat a piece of bread with just peanut butter but will not eat it if its got jelly on it. I can feed Kimi just about anything. Although I should be happy about the types of food Takara likes (most of it is healthy) it sometimes is hard when we are pressed for time and I just need to get them fed. Some days she will not eat anything because she doesn't want to eat what I have prepared. Most mornings they get a bowl of cereal then for lunch Takara has been requesting hot dogs a lot, but sometimes I try to change it up and you can forget it. For dinner its usually a family meal so I'll make a cassarole, or grill up some meat...basically Takara does not want any of it. We went to Pizza hut for the soccer fund raiser and Takara would not touch her pasta, breadstick, or pizza. So I got her a salad from the salad bar and thats what she ate. I like just about everything. I am not a seafood fan but for Evans sake, since its some of his fav, I've been open to trying more things. Evan does not like mushrooms or tomatoes but that doesn't stop me from cooking with them. If they are really noticable he will pick them out otherwise he doesn't even know the difference :)

Anyways I hope the days keep getting warmer and warmer. I sure love being outside!

Summer is just around the corner...I can feel it!

It seems like I have a lot more to post about lately. Mostly good things, thank goodness! Nothing thats probably that exciting to others, but for me it just makes every day a little easier when I have things to look forward to.

Not so fun stuff to deal with is our electric dog fence. We live out of town but on Evan's uncle's property so it can get frustrating to not be able to do what we want when we want. Uncle does not like the dogs running around even though our neighbors dogs run free and all over the place. We kept them cooped up in a little fenced off area in the back and it just didn't seem fair. Evan and I saved and researched different ways to expand their running area without costing a fortune, making it permanent, or having to change too much. We decided to buy the petsmart underground electric fence. It took us 2 days to bury the line. We've been working with our dogs and helping them understand where the boundary is and where they can play and roam. It looks like we are going to have to buy the higher strength collars. At first the shock they recieved when they crossed the line startled them and the yelped and made sure to stay clear of the beeping warning. Then our male decided that maybe the shock wasn't so bad so he would test it over and over and you could see the shock jiggle his neck and he just sat there and took it! After so many seconds it automatically shuts off just in case the dog gets caught in the no zone. He's free, and he knows this. Our female decided to do the same thing shortly after and pretty soon they were walking in and out of the fenced area like nothing was happening. We shaved their necks thinking that it would help get more direct contact and therefore hurting more when they recieved the shock. That worked for the first couple times then they adjusted to that! So now we alternate, one is tied up in the yard while the other roams around (because they don't want to leave and get into trouble without the other). So we are looking into the extra strength collars and I really hope that works!

On a happier note...I planted my garden seeds two weeks ago and they have just taken off! I really should post some pictures because I'm so amazed at how fast they grew. I bought some pots for them to grow in, but planted a few seeds in each pot just in case some didn't grow. The smaller seeds didn't even seem like they would grow so I tossed quite a few in each pot. I bought 36 little pots and planted green peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes, onions, pumpkin, green beans, and corn. They became so crowded in these little pots that I decided to go out and buy to 50 count plants containers. I transplanted them over to their new spots so they could grow individually. I need to buy one more because I've filled them all up and still have about 50 more to transplant! I have on average about 15 of each plant but 50 tomato plants! We are going to have a BIG garden this year but I think I will give about half of my tomato plants and a few others to my parents...hopefully cutting down on their gardening bill :)

I am so excited for warm days and summer. Its not too far away. I can't wait to see my garden (and belly :P ) grow. Fresh salsa, green grass, warm sunshine, snow cones, funnel cakes, fair, parks, swimming, bonfires, I just hope it comes sooner than later. I remember the year I had Kimi, 2009, it was a strange summer that was cool and rainy until the end of July. It warmed up in August and September and then started to cool off again in October.

I will be going through an entire summer pregnant but thats 100% ok because I will be so busy being outside with my girls, that time will just fly. I'm sure this next baby will also be a girl but thats fine. I love my little girls and so its not hard to imagine having another. Evan and I have been discussing that we probably won't be finding out what we are having. If its a girl then we are completely prepared for her, and if its a boy I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to get what we need for him. We already have the swing and crib and all that so basically all we would need is clothes. Why not let it be a surprise?

A Little Bump Update

So like I announced we are having another baby! Its been a little bit stressful (have you read any of my previous posts from the last 3 months?) Basically I had originally found out I was pregnant last november. I was soooo excited and even posted it on my blog. Well it wasn't long before the word got out so I felt like I might as well announce it on facebook. The pregnancy was kind of weird. I had really bad body aches like someone had beat me up EVERY day. I went to the dr at 8 weeks and although its really a long stretch they decided to listen for a heartbeat...nothing. No big deal, most drs won't even try until the 12th week when they most def should hear a heartbeat. For some reason I just didn't feel pregnant (never felt that way with the previous two) and I would tell Evan and he would just say I'm worrying over nothing. Then at about 9 weeks I started spotting. I just KNEW this was going to happen. It was hard for the first 2 days, and I felt kind of like I did after I gave birth. My horomones were whiplashing, one minute I would cry and the next be completely fine. I was sad about it all but I kind of felt prepared for the whole thing. It didn't take long for things to even out, and I went in weekly for blood tests to make sure my hcg levels were going down. Every time I am pregnant I jump 10 pounds in the first month.Thats usually one of my signs that I am pregnant. I had already gained my fated 10 and so I was trying and trying to lose it before we started trying again. I dieted and exercised every day. I would jump on the scale and see that I gained a pound...what the?!? The next 2 pounds...then I wouldn't budge for a couple days then gain again! Everyone kept saying it was probably muscle but I know my body and I always drop right away and then gradually lose weight after that. I thought since I never had a miscarriage before that maybe my body was doing something weird. A couple weeks later I jumped on the scale and there it was...the dreaded 10 pound mark. So not only had I put on 10 pounds from before...I had added another 10 pounds to that. I cried and cried and finally decided that I would take a pregnancy test just to see what was going on. There it was..Positive.

I was happy, but wasn't extremely excited. I showed Evan and he felt about the same. We decided not to tell anyone until I reached a safe point. As you could imagine adding 20 pounds to a short frame gives people all kinds of ideas. I had one lady say are you expecting AGAIN?! Even though I was, I was so ticked about it that I lashed out and yelled back at her NO! Not only were my horomones going out of whack, I felt like crap. I was having some stomach problems before but because of the beauty of slower digestion due to pregnancy I felt like I had holes all over in my stomach. I was in pain, I was naseous, I was a wreck. I went to my first dr appt at 9 weeks. My dr decided to try the doppler but reminded me that we most likely were not going to hear anything but because I had a miscarriage she didn't know if my cycle was the same and when I actually concieved. Soon we were listening and there it was...a heartbeat! I felt a little relief but still wasn't as excited as I normally would be. My dr told me that it was perfectly normal that until I get to a point where I felt the pregnancy would turn out ok, that I would be a little disconnected from it. She sent me to get an ultrasound at 10 weeks and I got to see the little baby inside kick and squirm around. It was amazing to see that it had arms and legs and it actually looked like a real baby, not just a blob. Again this made me feel a little better, but not totally ok. We decided to tell our parents at this point because even if I did have a miscarriage again, at least I would have some support from someone.

I started getting kind of depressed because I wanted to tell people but I didn't want to jinx myself. I felt isolated and alone and because I was sick and throwing up a lot I was just miserable. Everyone was annoucing they were pregnant left and right. I kept asking Evan if we should tell people...he was worried about me and didn't know what the right answer was so he went to the default of our original desision not to tell until we knew everything was going to be ok...not like 12 weeks ok...but 20 weeks ok. I started getting a little scared that if I did lose this baby that no one would know what was wrong with me and I would have absolutely no support. I felt that being almost 14 weeks was safe enough and told Evan that I was going to announce it. Maybe that would help me (I hoped). Because we had such a wonderful Easter weekend I felt really good being outside and felt a lot more excited about having a baby. I thought up a poem and posted it. I felt like I had confirmed it and that it was really going to happen! I feel so much better and so much more connected to the baby (I've even felt him/her kick!)

I had my 14 week appointment yesterday and everything is still looking great. I got to hear the heartbeat again and it was wonderful! We are so excited and have no hopes for one gender or the other. I am just so excited to hold a tiny, soft, fuzzy baby again!

Easter with the Kawanos

Easter this year was so much fun. I loved that it was in April instead of March, and the weather was BEAUTIFUL!! We went to the fairgrounds for the easter egg hunt thats put on there every year. It seems like more and more people show up every year! It only takes about 30 seconds and the whole place is wiped clean of all the candy and eggs. We went out with our girls to help them, but some parents decided that instead of letting their kids collect the goodies that they would do that for them...not very nice. It looked ridiculous as one lady was armloading everything in sight and not letting a lot of the little kids get anything. Oh well I wasn't really as interested in my kids getting candy as I was letting them have fun gathering it. After we went inside and ate hot dogs, chips and pop while the raffled off all kinds of goodies! (below)This is Sunday morning right before church. While getting ready Kimi reached up and burnt her wrist REALLY BAD on the curling iron :( it was very sad and looked very painful. She cried for a long time and it was very hard to settle her down. We debated whether or not to even go to church because she was having such a hard time. I brought the girls outside to do a little walking around to settle Kimi down. It worked pretty good so we decided to go, and I'm so thankful that we were able to.

(below) Another shot of the girls from the front in their Easter dresses. Kimi and Takara were running and laughing. It was so cute! At church both girls decided to have a break down so we were swapping back and forth trying to calm each down. I went in with my primary class and finally got Takara to go into her own class. Evan brought Kimi into nursery and stayed with her just in case her burn started hurting her again.

After Church we went to Grandma and Grandpa Kawanos house for Easter Dinner and another egg hunt! The girls knew exactly what to do and had tons of practice with all the hunts they had over the last few days. We have enough candy to last us until Halloween.
Heres Takara and Kimi collecting all the goodies the Easter bunny left at Grandmas

We had an awesome Easter dinner and I am still stuffed. Takara doesn't usually like pictures at all and avoids looking at the camera as much as possible, but she asked if she could get a picture with Grandma so I jumped at the opportunity to hopefully get a good picture of her. She still blocked her face with her basket, but the fact that she even asked means that we're making progress :)

This Easter has been so wonderful and I'm so glad that I was able to go to church and teach my lesson to my class. I really needed to hear the real meaning of Easter to set my day straight.

On another exciting note, Evan and I are expecting our 3rd baby. I am almost 14 weeks. It was very hard not sharing the news but I was so scared to let anyone know since I did before and had a miscarriage. Now that we are in a safer time of the pregnancy I thought that this would be a great time to announce it! We are so excited but I am still a little scared since so many things can happen. I never thought I would have a miscarriage and now that I have it has just proven to me that it can happen to anyone and nothing in this life is a guarantee so to never take anything for granted.

I hope everyone had a Happy Easter!

Vent Blog?

Maybe I should just call this the Kawano venting blog. Sometimes, when things never seem to go right during the day I have no one to vent to....so I blog. Sorry readers.

Last year we tried growing a lawn. We live out in a muddy dirty mess and it would just be so awesome to have clean green grass for my kids to play on during the summer. Last year we cleaned up all the twigs, leaves and weeds and tilled in some fertilizer. We planted our grass but all our hoses were junk and we had just a tiny sprinkler. I would get out the old rotted hose and use my finger to create a spray and wet down the lawn several times a day. One day I decided to hook it up to the tiny sprinkler and went inside to let it do its job. A few hours later my mother in law knocked on my door and said that the hose detached from the sprinkler and flooded the whole driveway down to the round corrals leaving a muddy riving down the middle of our front yard and swept away all the grass seed. By time the middle of summer rolled around our lawn had a few patches of grass randomly scattered over the front yard, and that was it.

This year we decided to do it all over again BUT saved up to buy a new hose and a decent sprinkler. We worked and worked cleaning the front yard up, raking, weeding, and tilling until we had a clean canvas. The wind picked up shortly after and we decided that maybe we better wait until the next day so our seed didn't blow away. Next day we planted the seed raked it in and hallelujah it rained for the next few days! This was perfect! Today was the first sunny day and I called Evan to ask where all the new stuff was so I could hook it up and get to watering our new lawn. He said that the black hose was already hooked up so just to use that one instead. I got out the new sprinkler, hooked it up and it worked like a charm. I could just see in my mind how perfect our lawn was going to be. I ran into town with the girls to mail off a package and run a few errands. When I returned home it was like a flashback. Flooded lawn, grass seed being flushed away down to the round corrals. SERIOUSLY! Now I love Evan with all my heart but electrical tape does NOT fix everything. He taped the old black hose together with black electrical tape and it ended up breaking apart I'm guessing not to long after I turned it on and left. I did not even notice it or I would have gotten the new hose out and hooked it up. So now we'll wait and see whats left of the grass seed and if we'll have grass ...AGAIN!

So that was my grass vent. Onto my garden venting! The year before last I REALLY wanted to plant a garden. I bought seeds and started them inside my house and by time June rolled around I had tons of awesome plants that were ready to go into the ground. Problem...we didn't have a tiller at that time. We didn't even know anyone that had one. So I waited around for something to happen. Nothing...so sadly no garden that year. Last year we got new tiller at a yard sale and put all of our time into the lawn, so no garden that year either. So I am determined to have a garden this year. I bought my seeds, my little pots, and potting soil. I got them started last weekend and put into our front window where we get the most sun. Kimi has climbed up and dumped them so many times I have no idea if they will actually grow now! I guess we'll see what the next few weeks bring. (Does anyone else have this much trouble??)

Last and finally, pets. Since we already cram 4 people and our stuff in this 14x70 space, I do not want indoor animals out here. My Dad grew up on a farm where no animals were allowed in the house for sanitary reasons, so as you can imagine, that was the same rule when I was growing up. My mom did manage to get my Dad to agree to 2 poms but they were limited to one room of the house and no where else. If we lived in a bigger house and had a grass yard that the dogs could run around in and not track in poop and mud from outside, I would be more than happy to have them be inside. They do come in occasionally but not all day everyday. I have my two basset hounds that I LOVE. They are so fun and cute and lovable but Evans uncle has a conniption EVERY time we let them out of the fenced in area in the back, even if we are outside with them. Its just not a good deal. Well Evan felt like he needed a dog that could be his work dog to go around with him. I really did not like the idea because #1 we have 2 dogs already, and #2 I don't want the responsibility of the puppy all day because I've already got 2 kids and a house to take care of. I lost. We got a little blue heeler and he is soooo cute. But like I said...IM THE ONE WHO HAS TO TAKE CARE OF HIM DURING THE DAY! We've had him for week now and he sleeps in a box next to our bed, crying and whining all night long. When Evan is home he does all the work. He wakes up several times a night to take him out to go potty, feeds him, plays with him... everything. Well last night the puppy escaped out of his box and came back. Apparently Evan didn't notice so while we were all sleeping this puppy took 4 dumps on my $80.00 rug! Evan left for work, and I had woken up to get the girls their breakfast. Since evan didn't know about the poop I was the one to discover it..by stepping in it! I'm gagging and scrubbing and cannot hardly contain how pissed I was. This is one of my biggest peeves. I have kids crawling and rolling all over the ground all day in our house and I really do not want them in getting into any dog accidents.

Well now that I've gotten that all out I think I can move on with my day. Hopefully. I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way about anything or if I'm just a grouch. In any case I just hope things start going more smoothly. One of these days I will have something more uplifting and positive to write about I promise!

Daily Routine

I feel so lazy. My poor children are probably going insane from being cooped up in this house. I am! Most days our routine is the same. Evan gets up for work at 5:30 and most of the time that wakes Kimi up, then I try to get her to lay with me until at least 6:30. Sometimes is works sometimes it doesn't but we get up and Takara will sleep for another hour or so. I turn on PBS (the only clear channel our rabbit ears will pick up) fill the milk cups and get breakfast made for Kimi. I get online and check my email, facebook, and read the newspaper online. Takara wakes up and I get everything ready for her. Unless I have somewhere to be I usually sit around in sweats or occationally bundle up in a blanket on the couch in my Gs. I can't keep clothes on the girls at all so they usually run around naked until we go somewhere. Even after I get them dressed and we go outside or run errands as soon as they walk back into our house they completely strip down which drives me crazy because if we need to leave again I have to search around for their clothes again! Anyways today was a usual day and as always Kimi decides after shes done with her cereal to carry her bowl into living room and it never fails, she accidentally dumps the milk all over the rug. EVERY DAY!!! My poor rug needs a good washing so this summer I think its going to be hung out on a line, beat, and sprayed down. I clean it the best that I can with carpet cleaner and a rag but I think its just due for a good cleaning. So as Kimi does this again I start yelling around, yes this is getting old and instead of beating my kids I go with verbal abuse :) just kidding. I pretty much yell around for my benefit and mostly talk to myself when I do it ( I think I got that from my mom) because it sure doesn't phase my kids and they could care less about what I'm even mad about. But I'm sure it did't sound so nice to the FEDEX guy standing outside our front door right at that moment. I hear the knock and I'm scrambling around in my undies and look through the peep hold on our door to see who it was and thought oh he'll just leave whatever it is that he's dropping off. No I was wrong. Knock knock. I wait. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. It was pretty obvious he wasn't going to leave. Takara runs over to open the door and I scream NO NO don't open the door. Then she would yell to him just come in! So I dash back to my room to throw on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and back to open the front door but try to keep my naked children inside. Here we are, out in the boonies in a trailer and this guy probably thinks we're a bunch of redneck hillbillies anyways, I'm sure our "attire" or lack of would have confirmed his thinking. Turns out the package wasn't even for us but for Evans uncle. It was so nice a couple days ago. We spent most of the day outside and that was the best I've felt in a LONG time. The girls played, I worked on the yard, oh it was WONDERFUL! It just makes me completely long for summer. Only a couple more months! I think moving south sounds like a good plan. Yes the summer can get miserably hot and humid but I think I could handle having to deal with that 3-4 months out of the year and having wonderful weather the rest of the time then only getting 3-4 months of good weather and then being cooped up for the rest because of the wind, snow, rain, and cold. Sadly nothing too cool to post about, I'm sure anyone that does read my blog feels they are reading the same post over and over. Since there isn't much new going on I tend to stick to this annoying subject of how the weather is making me miserable. Sorry folks!

If it weren't Friday, I would go crazy.

I don't know why I load myself down...I don't know why I just can't say NO. I love being creative especially when its something for my family. I know the the gifts and talents that Heavenly Father gives us are meant to be used and shared and improved, but its so hard for me to keep a good attitude during the "sharing" part. I started a tutu business but found that I enjoy creating fun things for my girls more than other people :( I'm such a stinkin perfectionist that I end up putting so much time and effort into something that its hardly worth the price I ask. Tutus are a different story and actually not that bad...its the cakes. THE CAKES. I have never taken and sort of culinary classes or training. Everything I've learned about cooking and baking I've gotten from my mom. You want things to taste great BUT also look good too. Presentation is what sells it first. I made a birthday cake for Evan the first year that we were married and decorated it with all kinds of cool things. It turned out great! I didn't really have a lot of cake decorating supplies so for the next few years we made more adult types of cakes like heath bar cake and lemon meringue pie (Evans favorites) We had Takara and I felt a lot of pressure in making her first birthday cake, I wanted it to be perfect but didn't know enough about cakes or have the tools to do it. So I kept it simple. Then when we had Kimi I figured there were going to be plenty of birthdays to work on trial and error, and this is the perfect time since they were too little to critique my work. It all started last July 2010. I had a wilton book that I wanted to make so many cakes out of but was too scared. I finally decided to just do it. How did it look? GREAT! How did it hold up? not so great. I knew nothing about stacking cakes but I read somewhere about dowels. So I put dowels in the cake and stacked my layers with no plates or cardboard. Well you can guess what it did. It collapsed. Over the next few months I did some fundraiser cakes, cupcake creations, and a few birthday cakes. All the practice def paid off. I made my first wedding cake and I was amazed that I actually did it! So whats the big deal? Shouldn't I be happy that I'm learning so much in such a short time? Well I am grateful for the knowledge but now I've been getting orders from so many people that I don't know. It takes me so long to do a cake with my kids around. Right now I'm working on a baby shower cake. It is costing me more to make THIS cake than I am getting out of it. Getting motivated to start is the hardest part. I agonize and hold off as long as possible before getting down to business. Yesterday I baked the cake and while it was cooling Kimi climbed up and destroyed it. Money down the drain. So I had to go buy more supplies and bake another cake. Then today after I got it covered in fondant Takara decided to poke her fingers through it while I was busy printing out the design I wanted to use. Fondant costs $20.00 a box so as you can imagine I was not happy. In fact, I freaked. I felt pretty guilty for how bad I layed into Taraka. I was already having a bad morning (stomach issues and all) so this was the straw that broke the camels back. Thank goodness its Friday.

Time does fly, when you're in love!

5 years ago in March 2006, Evan asked me to marry him. It was the most amazing feeling to accept a proposal without one doubt, even though we'd only KNOWN each other for 4 1/2 weeks. Whats even more crazy is that we may have known each other for 4 1/2 weeks BUT Evan worked out of town during the weeks for his job and was only home for the weekends. So when I told Evan yes I would marry him.....this might have been the 13th time I'd ever seen him in my life!!!

February 2006 I was having a very difficult time. I really didn't see where my life was going. I lived at the dorms and was going to school for music tech. I just felt so lost and it was hard just not knowing what to do after this step. I attended the student ward and made lots of friends and there were lots of fun guys but none that I wanted to date. Sometimes I worried that in order to do the right thing, I would eventually have to marry someone I didn't really LOVE, but went on a mission and did all the right things. That thought scared me, so I prayed and prayed asking for something to change in my life. I prayed that I would find someone that I loved and was what I needed (according to Heavenly Father). Mind you I was only 19 so it wasn't like I was running out of time and I didn't feel a great need to get married right away. I just wanted a path to be shown to me. I wasn't looking for someone NOW, I didn't even care if I found them when I was 50. I just wanted to make sure that the choices I was making and where I was going was going to eventually take to me to the place that I needed to be.

My prayers were answered. I had a calm feeling and decided that I would continue my education with music tech in Arizona after my two years in Powell. I decided since I no longer had to worry about a "plan" I could cut lose and enjoy college a little. February 9 2006 I went to the hypnotist show with my cousins that was taking place at the college auditorium. The hypnotist called for volunteers, and there HE was. For some reason I spotted this guy up on stage in the crowd of other people. I had never seen him before, knew nothing of him, NOTHING. I don't know why he sparked my interest so much, I mean he was the life of the show but normally I would have left it at that and thought no more of it. I kept asking everyone sitting around me, "who is that guy?" "have you ever seen him?" "does he go to school here?" After being shushed over and over I finally quieted down. He stayed on my mind even when I got back to the dorms. But I figured if I hadn't seen him before then I probably wouldn't see him again.

I didn't think much else about it. February 10th 2006 was the institute dance. I love dancing, love music, love it all. I just wasn't interested in going that night. My roomate, who was also in institute with me, begged for me to go with her. Fine. I'll go.

At the dance I felt a lot better. Music always does that for me..ALWAYS. I was having a blast and about 3/4 of the dance was over and I looked over...and there HE was again!! My first thought was this guy is mormon? I've never seen him before. I did not feel shy, and walked over and waited patiently next to him. He looked over and said hi then went back to looking at music. I didn't budge. He looked up again kind of awkwardly and asked uh do you want to dance? YEAH! He told me that I would have to teach him because he didn't know how. So I was slowly showing him some steps to swing and WHOOSH the room turned into a blur and I was being flipped in the air. With my feet on the floor I took a few steps back, feeling a little silly for trying to "teach" this guy who obviously knew how to dance. After that I didn't buy into anything and we had a good time dancing and I was surprised that he was actually following ME around.

We exchanged numbers and I called him the next day. I completely trusted him. I went to Billings with him and his friend and it gave us an opportunity to get to know each other. On Sunday he came with me to church and he asked if I wanted to meet his family. So after we did just that. I felt at ease and so comfortable. After, we talked and it felt like we had known each other forever. He asked me how I felt about marriage, not to him, but just in general. I told him that I wanted to go to the temple, and that I wanted someone who was a priesthood holder. Evan wanted those things for me too. Over the next few weeks he met my family and I spent a lot of time with his family. In fact only after a couple weeks his parents gave me a key to their house!

Even though I had only known Evan the short time that I did, my family loved him, and his family loved me. Evan asked my Dad "if he could take my hand in marriage" well my Dad being the person he is doesn't like uncomfortable situations so instead of saying yes and having everyone sit in awkward silence he said "Well you can't just have her hand...if you marry her you gotta take all of her." Yeah that broke the tention.

So here we are today. We will be married for 5 years this August but I will never forget 5 years from this month or last month. We have reached a new milestone in our marriage, the 5 year fatties. I'm so grateful that I have Evan to grow with whether it be in age...or unfortunately pounds. I love you Evan Franklyn Kawano!

New Challege

So my blog has become a little....boring. It was nice to have the challege because it gave me 30 topics to write about. So guess what? I'm going to continue on with the challenge. I will not write every day, but often, and I will have a jar full of random topics to choose from. When I have something exciting to write about that happened in my day I'll write about that.

Getting out of control

Start, give up, start, give up, start, give up. Why do I follow this pattern?! I really need to lose some weight..in fact I should lose about 50 pounds in order to be in my ideal weight catagory for my height.

Before I had kids it was so easy for me to decide something and stick to it. I would only let my weight get about 10 pounds over where I wanted to be then I would kick it back into gear. I've created a bad habit for myself. I am a yo yo dieter, something that my sisters and I have learned from my mom. Growing up my mom did those all liquid diets, and actually still does to this day. When she got to the weight she wanted, she went off the diet and it all came back on, then she started over.

Now its not just her fault. I KNOW this is bad for me, but I love food. All kinds of food. It seems like everything in this life revolves around food. I get so bored just sitting in front of the tv doing workout videos. Summer is great and it helps me get out and moving but its also filled with the best food! I would pass up Thanksgiving and Christmas just to have my summer food. BBQ, funnel cakes, corn dogs...mmmm summer food.

Now that I've got 2 children, its so hard for me to stick to anything for more than a day. I will wake up in the morning, weigh myself, almost have a heart attack, then decide to do something about it. I'm fine until about 3:00 hits. I've eaten my food and start sifting through the healthy snacks. Nothing seems to hit the spot. I start getting a little depressed then Evan gets home from work. I think ok he knows nothing of my plan so lets have a yummy 7 course dinner because I'm STARVING!! Then the cycle starts over.

Before I was married I could keep myself busy and almost forget to eat, especially in college. You know the freshman 15? well I'm kind of in that club....except instead of gaining, I lost 15 pounds! Then I got married and it became a little harder but not much. We were still free to run around, ride bikes, pretty much do whatever we wanted. Eating was the challenge. I had to remember to feed a husband therefore always remembered to feed myself. Luckily it was only really for one meal a day because the rest of the time he was at work. Now with my children I am always fixing meals, always digging for snacks to feed their bottomless pits. Its seems like my stomach is also a bottomless pit, but without the same functioning metabolism.

I need some help. Some way to stick to this. To change my life. I need to lose the weight and then MAINTAIN. How do I do this? How do I make myself commit? Well I'm a little worried about doing this but if it will help me be accountable then maybe its for the best, I'll post my goal online. Starting today I'm going start eating healthy and exercise to lose weight. I only want to lose about 20 pounds because we are going to try for another baby once I do. I will continue to eat healthy and exercise (but not to lose) so if/when I actually get pregnant I can keep my body in its best condition.

I hope posting and being held accountable for it will help me achieve this goal.

Pick -Me-Up Please

Have you ever had one of those days...or ever weeks? Well I've been having one of those "months". It seems to be like this every year and I dread January- May. These are the months that drag on the most and I just get depressed. It also seems to be my weight gain months. I really want to live somewhere warm where I can be outside (or inside if I CHOOSE) all year round. I've grown up in Montana so this weather is nothing new to me but it doesn't seem to make it any better. I love going outside and going on walks or playing with the girls, going to the park, getting ice cream but being able to move around enough to burn it off! I live out of town and in a small mobile home so I get cabin fever very easily.

There aren't many activities that my girls can participate in to get us out of the house. We did sign Takara up for gymnastics and she loves the idea of it and talks about it nonstop at home. But when it actually comes time to go to gymnastics she becomes stubborn and won't participate in anything but the balance beam and even then she will not cooperate with instructors who tell her to "dip her toes" "kick her legs" "turn around". She is so stubborn and both Evan and I start getting frustrated. I really want my kids to be outgoing and participate in any activity that they want but Takara is proving to us that we can't MAKE her do anything. Kimi on the other hand would love to participate in anything thats going on. She wants to get in the middle of gymnastics and sometimes I will help her on the floor mats or the small beam and she loves it! She will do somersaults, and even kick her little legs if I tell her on the beam. I just hope that doesn't change from now until she can actually participate.

whats been going on

The last few days I've been a little anxious. I'm making my first wedding cake for my brother on the 18th of this month...talk about nerve racking. The tutu business is going awesome. But I'm getting some orders out of town and right now am trying to figure out the best/cheapest way to ship. I would go with the flat rate boxes but tulle is so light and I don't want people to NOT order because the price starts getting unreasonable when the shipping is tacked on. So I may be looking around for some small boxes to ship my stuff in so that it goes by weight. Anyways this is my dilemma.

Speaking of dilemma, we got to go out on a date last night to the movies. The Dilemma was funny but very annoying. It kept me interested but I wasn't laughing out loud like I'd hoped. Instead I found myself getting more and more irritated with the situation that the characters faced and how they handled it. Stupid I know. I'm a cut to the chase and get it over with kind of person and it just seemed to DRRRAAAAGGG on. But I'm glad I at least had some time with my hubby.

Sometimes I wish we could get out and take a weekend together. We've never been away from the kids over night. They stayed part of one night and that was so Evan and I could do some black friday shopping. We take them everywhere we go and I love it most of the time. But like I said, it would nice if Evan and I could go somewhere, just the two of us.

Today is Superbowl Sunday! We are going to Shane and Traci Kannards house, I can't wait! There is going to be so much food and good company so whats not to be excited for...and I suppose the game..and the commercials!

Day 30

~A Post of Your Choice~

Yeah I made the last topic up. What was I supposed to do? They wanted ANOTHER picture. I'm over it. I did enjoy this challenge though. Winter is always hard for me. There is 3 months of warmth (June, July, and August) and then the rest are up and down cold, snowy, windy, rainy...depressing. So at least this gave me something to do. Don't get me wrong. I ALWAYS have something to do with these girls running around but its not always fun.

I'm so excited to have my craft room set up and usable. It feels like my little sanctuary. When Evan is home sometimes I just go in there and work on little fun projects like beadwork, sculpey, woodburning, sewing, painting and so on. When he's at work the girls have to come in with me so I can't bring out any projects that could get messy...like paints for example. Luckily I can work on my tutus and keep everything in place. I'm so excited to get this business going. I really need to get more tutus made before I really do some advertising just so that I can show my work. But if anyone is in need of a tutu just give me a call and I can get it made!

Day 29

~Something You Can't Get Enough Of~

Babies. Period.

If we had the money and a house to have lots of babies, I totally would. Anytime I see someone with a baby I just want to hold it and cuddle it and smootch it and love on it. BUT I have to resist especially if I don't know the person just because things are a lot different then they use to be and anyone can be considered a weirdo. Hey I never claimed to be normal. But I'm sure we can all agree that a baby melts your heart.